Something Behind Everything

There are times I want to run to a PC and construct a solid blog for Miles. Then, I nix the idea becuase I either can't break away or I'm too close to every moment of his life to feel as though they need to be immortalized any more than they are through my witnessing those small moments. Amidst the frustration of not being able to talk, his tantrums, and the constant hair pulling with his cousin Sophie, I find myslef not wanting to write about any of this stuff anymore. I figure it's too hard and painful to plod forward without small moments. Then, I realize that there is a silver lining and it's the small moments of triumph that fuel Carrie and I to another day. For instance, his homeroom teacher Connie emailed me today and said that he has fallen right back into step following a very long Spring Break. She noted that he hasn't pulled hair or been overtly huggy with other kids. And when I pulled him off the bus today, I heard a group of kids in the back yell 'bye Miles' over and over again. As he beamed with his huge smile, I felt my spine tinge in that comfortable manner because somewhere between the pain and pleasure there is this tiny blog wobblilng along out here in the clogged avenues of cyberspace celebrating our small boy and his journey through this huge existence.