Conversations

When you are talking to me on the phone this is what is happening to me:
Miles hears the phone ring. Runs with utter delight to the trashcan and dumps it over…If I actually answer the phone he heads up the stairs to the game room where he proceeds to dump all the Uno cards, checkers and dice that he can find over the balcony into the ceiling fan. At this point I am still trying to focus on the question you are asking me or the description you are wanting a comment on….These are serious conversations…Friends needing advice on relationships, jobs or just wanting to vent. Parents with serious health problems or needing help with rides to the hospital or grocery shopping. These are things I need to think about… focus on… and I am running, literally around the house trying to prevent my child from flushing his baby doll down the toilet or running out an accidentally left open front or back or garage door. People know not to call me unless it is serious. They know I will call them for idle chatter when I am on the road or the baby is away with Daddy…. I gauge the seriousness of the phone call…pretzels, marshmallows, red hots or pepperoni? Perhaps a bowl of pickles or a lemon to chew on? I give him a bit of each watch his face alight from hotter than crap to sugarcity…AND I HEAR WHAT YOU ARE SAYING FOR LIKE 5 SECONDS…and it is wonderful….Then the food is scattered and the table overturned and before I even blink he is up the stairs to the bathroom to wash his hands…Which always involves lots of water on the floor and a burned finger or two…Mind you this entire conversation and all activities have been accompanied by either whimpering, whining, wailing or some unbelieving annoying chanting…That is usually DADADADADADADADADADADADADAD and of course he is at work…and when I, Oh, so, silently utter the words “Daddy” and “Work” together it is like his world has ended…the utter despair and, I am not kidding, the anguish, on his face is so heartbreaking that I just have to get off the phone and snuggle him up in my arms and tell him Daddy will be home soon and I am all his for the rest of the day. Please… always…all of my eternal utter remors for the failed phone conversations of late…Remember how much I love e-mail and also please don’t stop calling me it makes me feel human and loved…